After an intense few weeks, we were able to slow things down in our latest session. Instead of one requiring a bunch of prep, it was a fun session where students (and directors) got to connect with our global community and build new relationships.
A couple of times each year we host global sessions. These are sessions where we break down our traditional "cohort walls" and have a few mega-hangouts over the weekend, where all of our 700+ Innovate students are invited to hang out and co-mingle. The intention is to relax after the Challenge and remind students that we're also here to have fun and connect with one another. There are hundreds of students in the TKS community they haven't met yet and this is giving them a taste of that network. It’s easy to forget how rare this is for students — hanging out on zoom with hundreds of students from dozens of countries around the world?! The closest I ever got to that was five Halo clan members hanging out on TeamSpeak when I was in Grade 10.
During the session, students learned about the mindset of Authenticity, performed a collaborative group lip sync, recorded mini podcasts, and reflected pretty deeply about their friends. All of the directors show up too and lead each segment so students get a chance to meet them as well, often for the first time! In true TKS fashion, after the session we had dozens of students stick around for impromptu games of AmongUs and to discuss topics like BCIs/Ethics, the World Cup, music, and more.
For me, it was a chance to see how other directors lead some discussions.
Authenticity
My feeling is that sanity is actually a pretence, a way we learn to behave. We keep this pretence up because we don’t want to be rejected by other people – and being classified insane is to be shut out of the group in a very complete way. – Keith Johnstone in Impro
This section was led by Jennah, who got vulnerable and shared her own experiences with authenticity in TKS and her own life. She neatly articulated the tension we feel with wanting to be authentic selves ourselves but feeling the tug of trying to be someone else that we admire.
During my reflection, I started thinking about what makes someone authentic and how I might be more authentic to who I am. I think when we are put into a new environment (workplace, a community like TKS, a team), most of us try to assimilate as quickly as possible. We shape-shift into whatever the vibe feels like so as to rapidly establish a sense of belonging. It takes time and comfort to emerge from behind that mask and truly be ourselves. Being authentic can feel vulnerable – what will people think of who I truly am? It requires confidence and in some instances, trust from the group. As you get more confident in yourself, you become more able to be authentic in more situations. For some of us, it starts with a specific person or friend group. Once you realize they still like you for who you are, you start to branch out more.
I left myself with a question: how might I show up more authentically in more spaces?
Talking about friends w/ [the other] Steven & Andres
I noticed this year paid some fairly hefty dividends in ‘relationship compounding interest.’ That is: Where investments in personal and professional relationships begin to snowball. I take note of this because it wasn’t until I was about thirty that many of my decision-making processes flipped from self-destructive to additive. So it feels good to pick my head up every now and then and go: Damn, I’m surrounded by solid people. But it can take time to reach these inflections. Which is all to say: If you’re working on culling or rebuilding your support base, keep at it, even if the long-term value can sometimes be difficult to believe in. – Craig Mod
Directors Steven & Andres discussed the different types of friends we might have. Each of our friends serves a different purpose; this might sound a bit utilitarian but is true. Some of them are more transactional or situational – those who represent a time in our life or a specific activity. Maybe a friend we had in high school or university we eventually outgrew, or someone we were close with during a summer camp or sports team. Not every friend needs to be an incredibly deep one, and that's okay.
It might sound robotic, but I find it helpful to think of your friendships as investments. The highest emotional returns you get from a friendship will come from those you invest most deeply in, and these relationships will compound over time. The more time you spend with someone the deeper that relationship will get.
And there are opportunity costs to spending time with people. If you spread out your friendship time too much, you may increase the number of friends you have but lack the quality or depth we crave. Instead, be more strategic about the types of friends you're looking for and how you might find them.
Personal reflection:
If someone points a camera at you you’re in danger of having your status exposed, so you either clown about, or become deliberately unexpressive. In formal group photographs it’s normal to see people guarding their status. You get quite different effects when people don’t know they’re being photographed. – Keith Johnstone in Impro
It was really fun to see walls of faces on Zoom, many of whom I never met before. It helped me appreciate the size of the community and made me wish we did more of these! It's easy for TKS to feel small when you're always in your own cohort with just 50-60 other students. Finding opportunities to meet the other students we have is a lot of fun and so I'll be looking for some more ways to do that in the new year.
My role in the session this past weekend was to introduce our Lip Sync activity. This was a practice in discomfort for me 🤣 I've noticed how I tense up immediately whenever I'm on camera. Not like Zoom, but once it’s recording, something takes over me. This was an opportunity to practice getting out of my own comfort zone and just letting loose.
As we enter the holidays and a break I'm looking forward to being more intentional with my own time for the coming weeks so I can make the most of it.
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